i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
its liver damage thursday
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
