The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
