I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize