Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it because I queefed?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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