glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can feel your judgement through the phone
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
