you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
