Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
