Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
