dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
it glows. i had to have it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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