Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
