So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
