"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
