i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
