That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
