I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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