i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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