I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
