i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize