I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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