wrigley field is MILF paradise
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
