So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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