I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
