I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
