i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
