just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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