i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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