the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
