Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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