Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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