I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
