he thought i was a dude.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
