i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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