Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
