She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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