I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
