I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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