dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
