I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
All I want is dick and wine.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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