the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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