im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
