WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
