tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
