I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Randomize
