my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
