You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
