They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
