bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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