I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
