I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
