How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
