Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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