I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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