remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
