Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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