just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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