If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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