Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
