Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
