does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
