don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
