she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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