D3 body, D1 cock
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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