there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
